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If You Wouldn't Go To Them For Advice

Mental Health and Trauma Blog | Noisy

This is going to be a difficult one for many readers to digest, it used to be the case for me too. But as I've worked on myself, my image, my confidence, and as I've grown as a person, this has finally stuck in my mind and it isn't even a conscience thought process anymore, it happens naturally. If you wouldn't go to them for advice, then their opinion means nothing. I imagine some might read that above line and think to themselves "easier said than done". Let me explain a way to teach yourself, to teach your brain how to have this mindset. I'll give you a hypothetical situation. Imagine you're out walking; it doesn't matter where or who with. A random person walks up to you and tells you they hate your blue hair. They say it looks awful on you, doesn't suit you, and that you should be ashamed to be out in public with blue hair like that. Understandably you'd have a what the fuck expression on your face because you don't even have blue hair so what they're saying doesn't make sense. It doesn't apply to you, it isn't the slightest bit offensive because it's not true, therefore it doesn't hurt, it doesn't bother you that they said that. (If you're reading this and you do have blue hair, just imagine that whole scenario but with a different colour being mentioned) Let's use another example, some other random idiot walks up to you and says that your jumper is ugly. You're not remotely bothered by that because you're not even wearing a jumper, you haven't worn a jumper for three months, it's the middle of summer. What the fuck is this person talking about? In this hypothetical situation you could even go as far as saying you'd find it funny because they'd look unhinged, they wouldn't be making sense and you could proudly walk away with your head held high thinking I'm not wearing a jumper, so what they said means nothing to me. It has no weight to it; it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Now use that exact mindset for everyday life. Let's use my hair for example, I have a unique haircut and I recently dyed it orange. If someone doesn't like my hair and they make that known then all I'd do is think to myself "what a stupid thing to say, my hair looks amazing, what the fuck are they talking about" Whatever the comment is simply tell yourself it doesn't apply. This takes practice, it won't happen overnight, but I promise with enough practice it becomes natural, you don't need to think out the process I used in the examples because your brain believes you. It tells you the rude comment that person just said does NOT apply to me. Your brain very much believes what you tell it. I don't let Jango talk negatively about himself, I won't have it. If you say and think that shit for long enough, you'll believe it. So tell yourself positive things, even if it's in your head to begin with because you struggle to say it aloud. You don't even need to stand in front of a mirror if that's too much of a struggle at first. Tell yourself something positive or kind about yourself. I don't care if you don't believe it, you won't at first. But keep at it and it becomes a little easier, you start to see what you tell yourself. It's a fantastic way to grow confidence. Your brain will listen and take note of the positive self-talk and you'll notice a difference over time.

In short, to summarise this post, be kind to yourself, love yourself, and anyone who doesn't like you can keep a hold of their opinions and fuck off with them. This is the fight of your life. - Noisy

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