Many of you will know I'm about to go back into therapy after a two-year break. I've been doing this shit for twelve years. Today (3rd September 2024) at 1.30pm, I'll have my first session. I'm dreading it, my anxiety is through the roof, my PTSD is in full swing, and I'm catastrophising everything in my head (obviously). I will be writing about my therapy sessions as well as sharing videos about my journey through therapy and how I cope with it. Just like the rest of this blog it will be dark and gritty; I don't sugarcoat things to make them more palatable for the readers. I like to be as honest and open as I can without traumatising anyone. I want to share this with you not just to share my story but show the journey of therapy. I'll show the difficult bits, you'll see me want to quit, you'll see me thrive, you'll see me at my lowest and my absolute best. I feel it's important to show recovery isn't a straightforward path and progress isn't always an upwards spike on the mood chart. I feel it's vital to show that you can still help others while you're also receiving help, it's not unheard of for therapists to have therapists. For those of you who are reading this, who are far too hard on yourselves, never giving yourself a break when you really do deserve one, these posts will be important to read. Progress isn't linear, sometimes progress is taking a two-year break from therapy only to realise the supressed trauma will kill you if you don't deal with it. Sometimes progress is going back on medication but this time knowing it's an aid to help you on your recovery rather than a solution to the problem. Sometimes progress is having to tell those that you love that you need therapy again, but it's okay because it's going to help, and future you will be so grateful of the effort you're putting in right now.
Fuck it, let's do this.
This is the fight of your life.
- Noisy
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